A Guide to Orgasm Control

Sometimes your sex life gets a bit stale and repetitive, and that’s the perfect time to try something new! How about orgasm control? If you’ve never heard about it, you’re seriously missing out! 

What Is Orgasm Control?

Orgasm control is a type of kink also known as edging or delayed gratification. The idea behind orgasm control is simple. You are intentionally delaying the orgasm during sex. 

Why would anyone want to do that? 

• Extend the intimacy 
• Enhance pleasure 
• Experiment with your body 

When you’re trying orgasm control, you can stop the stimulation seconds before the orgasm, take a break, and then go hard (put intended) on it again. Seasoned orgasm controllers are able to “edge” like this multiple times in a row, and when they finally get to the big O, it is much stronger and more impactful than it would be otherwise.

Orgasm control can be a part of many sexual kinks and practices, including BDSM, dominance and submission, and tantric practices, but it’s also perfectly fine on its own. 

Orgasm Control Tools

If you’d like to try orgasm control and you’re worried it’s not going to work out, don’t sweat it too much. This is a technique that definitely takes time to master and bring to perfection, but there’s no huge rush, right? The worst that can happen is you fail to control it and have an orgasm. Certainly not the worst thing to happen to someone! 

Thankfully, there are many different tools to help you, and we’re going to share them all in our beginner’s guide to orgasm control.

Sensory tools 

Think of anything that plays with and restricts your senses, creating that extra intense sexy vibe. 

Blindfolds are a hit in orgasm control because they’re easy to assemble out of things you have at home. You can also use some form of restraints, such as ropes, handcuffs, or a scarf that can double as a blindfold. 

Physical tools 

Sometimes gentle sensory tools are not enough, and that’s when you move on to physical tools. Here you can use vibrators with remote controls, cock rings to restrict blood flow and delay orgasm while maintaining an erection (use carefully, please), or chastity devices (yep, they exist) for orgasm denial. 

Digital tools

Technology is making our lives so much better! The bedroom is not an exception. There are many apps, such as remotely controlled toys (vibrators and dildos), and countless apps that help you train orgasm control and learn to meditate and practice discipline, a true virtue in orgasm controlling. 

Timers

Something else you can use and combine with other tools is a stopwatch or a timer. These are used by meticulous kink lovers to help them regulate intervals between active stimulation and breaks. This is something we think Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory would definitely like!  

Why do People Enjoy Orgasm Control?

How much time do you have? Just kidding! 

There are so many reasons why someone might give orgasm controlling a try and fall in love with this kink. There are many hidden benefits of orgasm control that you wouldn’t think of immediately, but which make a lot of sense.

• You make your orgasms stronger, more intense, and definitely more memorable. 
• A prolonged thrill of expectation of the climax is exciting on its own.
• People crave the power exchange that comes with someone controlling the other person’s orgasms.
• Reaching an orgasm isn’t always easy, and controlling it is ten times harder, so this practice brings couples together and establishes deeper emotional bonds. 
• You become more aware of your own body and elevate your self-control. 
• You get to have sex for longer if you orgasm later, and that creates a more satisfying sexual experience. 

As you see, there are many reasons why someone might choose to dive into the world of orgasm control. Whatever your motivation is, you should definitely try it but don’t forget to keep things safe and sound for everyone involved.

Safety and Consent Tips for Orgasm Control

Let’s talk about orgasm control safety tips! These ensure you and your partner have a good time, and everyone walks away from the experience happy and inspired. 

Here are the key tips to exploring this kink safely.

• Prioritize consent and boundaries. Regardless if you’ve been dating for months and years, or just met, it’s important to talk about everyone’s desires and limits and make sure that everyone understands what they’re getting themselves into.
• Talk openly. It can be difficult when a subject is that intimate and touchy, but you should do your best to discuss it before, during, and after the act.
• No sense in rushing. Take things slowly and gradually move on to stronger control mechanisms and techniques. 
• If it hurts, it needs to stop. Any pain or discomfort (mental included) is a big No. Stop and change something immediately. 
• Take care of your health. Something you don’t always hear in controlled orgasm discussions is the taxing effect of lengthy arousal on an individual. It is, in fact, tiring to be horny and not get to the final destination, so make sure you get enough sleep, eat well, and keep your body toned up. 
• Don’t skip aftercare. Both you and your partner will feel better if you do a little check-in to make sure you’re emotionally and physically alright. 

Overall, the core rules of safe orgasm control are paying attention to how everyone is feeling, taking things one step at a time, not pushing or pressuring if someone wants to stop, and keeping communication as open as possible. 

Getting Started with Orgasm Control

Enough theory! Here are our tips on how to explore orgasm control if you’ve never done it before. 

1. Get a grip on the basics. Spend some time on the theory, browse the internet, and see what others are saying about edging and the experiences they share.
2. Try practicing it on your own. If you don’t yet have a partner lined up to experiment with or simply want to come more prepared for the couple’s session, experiment with orgasm controlling on your own first. 
3. Practice different techniques. You can work on your breathing (meditation is great for that) to be able to take really deep breaths that will help you control your orgasm. Also, you can make yourself slow down right before climax but it takes practice to master as you’ll be forgetting to do it a lot. Another trick you can work on is cutting off any stimulation just before climax, so not slowing down but going from 100 to zero. 
4. Come up with your list of boundaries and expectations. If you simply freestyle it right before the act, you’ll probably miss something important and won’t be able to communicate your preferences clearly. Try to avoid that as your comfort (and sex-citement) depends on it.
5. Don’t shy away from the tools. Adding something extra to orgasm control can feel weird, especially if you’re not a big fan of additional objects and tools in bed in general. However, all those extra things will add to the experience. You’re already experimenting in bed, why not take it one step further? If you end up hating it, you can simply throw it away. But what if you’ll love it?
6. Think about an aftercare routine. This is the time right after sex when you and your partner might feel the most vulnerable. That’s when you should make sure that everyone is doing fine, have only positive memories of the experience, and don’t have any concerns, pain, or discomfort. If they do, those need to be addressed and worked on in a kind and compassionate manner.

Overall, the biggest tip we can share, and, perhaps, the most vital one, is that patience is a virtue with orgasm control. It’s not as simple as it seems, and you’ll probably fail a few times before you manage to master it. 

Remember that you’re not trying to catch the last train while a pack of aggressive wolves is hunting you down. There’s no pressure to do it perfectly on the first try. You can repeat this kink as many times as you like. Make sure you’re enjoying the process, the exploration, and the person you’re doing it with. That’s far more important than excellence.

Advanced Techniques or Variations of Orgasm Control 

If you’re done with the basic tricks, techniques, and tips, and are looking for something more advanced, here’s what we can offer. 

1. Ruined orgasm – when you get to the final point but restrict full release and create frustration.
2. Edging repetitions – do it not once, not twice, but thrice! 
3. Countdown – make your partner countdown randomly and unpredictably before the climax to enhance anticipation. 
4. Remote-controlled devices in public – tease them publicly to add the thrill and a dash of embarrassment. 

Ethical and Social Considerations for Orgasm Control

It’s important to explore orgasm control ethically, ensuring that everyone is feeling good in the process and after it. 

Here are the core elements of ethical orgasm control:

• Clear and explicit consent 
• Trust between partners 
• Mutual understanding 
• Definitive boundaries and limits
• Aftercare 

During the process, watch your partner. If you spot discomfort, make sure they’re doing alright. It’s always better to slow down or stop completely, and change something before you go on. This will guarantee that all parties walk away from this experience empowered, and not crushed down.

Final Thoughts

Orgasm control is a wonderful kink to enjoy if you’re looking for something new in sex but aren’t ready for extreme practices. An awesome part is that you can try it at home, on your own, to see if you like it.

It’s best done with a hot partner though, someone you can find on the Flure app. Remember to take things slow, consider boundaries, practice aftercare, and be patient.

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