A Guide to Japanese Bondage (Shibari)
It feels like everyone you know has either traveled to Japan lately or is actively planning a vacation there right now. If you can’t squeeze in a trip to the Far East right now, you can still enjoy Japan more unorthodoxly – through Japanese Bondage.
What Is Japanese Bondage?
It is a form of rope bondage that almost feels like an art form in itself. If you don’t know Japanese Bondage, you may have heard about it as Shibari or Kinbaku. Not only is it gorgeous and super aesthetic, but it also is designed to build and strengthen the emotional connection between lovers practicing it. The ropes are typically made of natural fibers that look good and are more pleasant for participants.
Read more about Shibari in this article
Japanese Bondage vs Western Bondage
There is a big ideological difference between Japanese and Western bondages. Primarily, it lies in the core focus of the kink. The Japanese version is all about intimacy, beauty, trust, and a shared experience, whereas the Western alternative is heavy on restraint and overcoming pain for pleasure.
Japanese bondage may even incorporate meditation into the practice which is unthinkable in the alternative approach to the kink.
The tools used in Western bondage are more utilitarian and rough, putting beauty lower on the priority list. Leather cuffs and leather or synthetic ropes, chains, and metals all symbolize the rough nature of the kink and manifest its focus on dominance and submission over intimate rituals of Eastern practice.
Note: Japanese and Western bondages emphasize consent and safety, so you shouldn’t accept an arrangement that doesn’t respect those two things.
Shibari Tools
Do you need any special tools to practice Japanese Bondage? Kind of!
The whole essence of the bondages is ropes, so there’s no way around that. You can try substituting them with something at hand, but it will not give you the desired effect.
It wouldn’t be a beginner’s guide to Japanese Bondage if we didn’t help you figure out the tools’ situation, so here are all the basics you’ll need to get started.
- Ropes made from natural fiber. Jute or hemp ropers are the most commonly used ones, ranging from 5 to 8 mm in thickness. They’re aesthetic, durable, and flexible, perfect for the purpose.
- Cutting tools that won’t be a safety hazard, such as safety scissors. You wouldn’t necessarily need them, but keep them somewhere close for emergencies when you need to be released asap.
- Blindfolds to add that nice sensory deprivation. Imagine being tied with soft robes and seeing absolutely nothing that’s going on around you. Uff! Talk about arousal!
- Gags to prevent your partner from speaking up during the play (only to be used once full consent is granted).
- Cushions or something like a mat to help you both feel comfortable while enjoying being tied and lying on the floor.
Why Do People Enjoy Japanese Bondage?
It’s exotic, it’s erotic, it’s aesthetic. What’s not to love?
One of the key benefits of Japanese Bondage is that it gives you a feel of what BDSM is like without going super hardcore. Unlike its Western counterpart, Japanese Bondage primarily creates a deeper and more sensual connection between partners, helping them boost trust towards each other and unlock a new kind of passion.
All in all, there are several reasons why someone might want to try Japanese Bondage and fall in love with it.
- Aesthetic beauty
- Artistic expression
- Emotional intimacy
- Power exchange
- Trust exercise
- Practicing vulnerability
- Meditative effect
Getting Started with Japanese Bondage: Safety and Consent Tips
This is not the most dangerous or hazardous kink ever, but there are certain Japanese Bondage safety tips and consent rules one should follow to ensure the most ethical and safe experience.
Establish Consent Before you do Anything Else
Talk about what Japanese Bondage entails, read about it online together, listen to stories of someone experienced with it. Everyone who’s going to try it needs to fully understand what they’re signing up for and express full and explicit consent.
Communicate Throughout the Experience
Make sure you’re maintaining an open dialogue and watching out for each other. It’s possible that you start with bondages and feel great, but then end up confused, uncomfortable, or weirded out. If that happens, you need to be able to discuss it and pause or stop completely.
You might also want to come up with a safe word if that feels easier than expressing discomfort or concern otherwise.
Watch out for Numbness
Ropes are no joke, even if they’re soft and pretty. If you leave someone unattended for too long or aren’t careful with how you tie and lay someone, they may end up feeling numb in parts of their body, and have issues with blood circulation or nerves. We most certainly don’t want that!
Keep the safety scissors somewhere close and don’t be afraid to use them if you see someone’s body part is struggling, for example, it’s discolored or irritated.
Note: You might not want to cut the ropes if they’re pretty and expensive, but make sure you always prioritize safety and comfort over those things.
Start with simple ties
Your goal, at least at the beginning, should be to have a good time, get closer to your partner(s), and explore creative sexual intimacy. You absolutely don’t have to master the hardest and trickiest ties right from the start. Instead, ease your way into the kink by gradually working on more complex ties and positions, and have fun along the way!
It’s not over once it’s over
Once everyone is free from ties and ready to get back to real life, spend a few minutes to discuss what just happened, how everyone is feeling, and whether something could be done differently for the next time.
Don’t skip it even if everyone is seemingly doing alright. Let them share their emotions and feedback, and create a safe space where someone can say they didn’t like it without repercussions.
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How to explore Japanese bondage?
If you’re unsure where to start with exploring Japanese Bondage ethically, the best course of action is to learn more about it, speak to someone with practical experience, find open-minded partners to try it with, ensure everyone is comfortable with the idea, and slowly step into this world with simple ties, gradually moving on to more advanced techniques.
Is Japanese bondage normal?
Look, normalcy is subjective when it comes to sex, but everything is okay and can be practiced and enjoyed unless you’re breaking the law or hurting someone. There is absolutely no issue with trying Japanese Bondage if you’re curious! Just make sure you’re practicing the safe and ethical version of the kink, i.e., making everyone feel comfortable and relaxed, and avoiding hurting your bodies with ropes.
Who do I ask to try Japanese Bondage with me?
If you already have someone you’re sleeping with – start with them. Test the waters with questions about BDSM, ropes, and things of that nature. See if they’re potentially open to the idea and would be willing to give it a try.
