A Guide to Domination

If you’re interested in gaining control and power over someone or something, but you’re not sure where to find it, maybe the domination kink will satisfy this craving.

What Is Domination?

Domination is one of the many kinks that can be enjoyed for sexual arousal without necessarily resulting in the sexual act itself. 

With domination, one person is, well, dominating over the other. It’s all about power exchange and taking or giving up control.

There are different types of domination. Some are purely psychological, others involve physical control and restraint. The dominant figure is ruling over the other person’s emotions, feelings, and actions. 

Naturally, before you give up or grab power, you discuss the boundaries, limitations, and rules to ensure everyone involved is having a good time, even if they’re being restricted, punished, or shouted at. At Flure we assure you that you can feel safe and explore your desires freely.

Why Do People Enjoy Domination?

Exploring domination ethically allows people to uncover endless pleasure for several reasons. 

Among all the benefits of domination, the one that’s being talked about the most is probably the fulfillment that you get from controlling or surrendering control. Those in higher-up positions at work and people who navigate and manage big families often feel like the entire world’s weight is on their shoulders. For them, turning into a submissive peasant who is bossed around by a dominatrix is all they could wish for. It’s a quiet peaceful time, a much-needed getaway, and stress-reducing activity. 

In turn, someone who’s not really in control of many things in their lives, or maybe in control but not in a way they’d prefer, those people can really appreciate being high up on the kink hierarchy and dictating to their partner(s) what they should say, do, or think. 

The best part is that it’s all happening in a controlled environment with (hopefully) explicit consent from everyone, so you’re not putting yourself or anyone else at risk. 

Safety and Consent Tips for Domination Play

Domination is not the most aggressive or dangerous kink there is, but it can definitely have a negative impact on someone’s mental state. You should be careful and thoughtful when you’re practicing, even if you appear to be rough and dominant. 

Here are the main domination safety tips to follow for the best experience.

1. Learn more about the kink. Although our beginner’s guide to domination provides you with a good overview, it’s best if you spend a bit more time learning about the rules, nuances, common failures, and personal experiences with domination. Bonus points if you can talk to someone who’s done it before. 
2. Establish your boundaries and understand the boundaries of other people. Talk about the limits, the preferences, and the no-nos that every participant has. 
3. Come up with a safe word or a signal. It’s always better to be safe than sorry. If the kink becomes more intense than you can handle, it will make a world of a difference if you pre-agree on a safe signal or a safe word. The mere knowledge of it being there will already help everyone relax and enjoy the game more. 
4. Remember that consent is irrevocable. Someone may change their mind at any point of the action. Some people will start to feel uncomfortable but will be too shy to voice their concerns. If you notice that something is off with your kink buddies, ask them if they’re doing alright and if they might want to stop or pause. 
5. Start slow. When you’re only starting out with domination play, or any other kink really, the best strategy is to take things slow. You’re not winning anything by rushing, quite the opposite. 

The final tip we’d like to share – respect limits. If the boundary gets crossed, accidentally or with intention, or someone is overwhelmed and can’t handle the dynamic anymore, stop right this second and don’t resume until everyone is comfortable and gives you the green light.  

Advanced Techniques or Variations of Domination

If it’s not your first rodeo or you’d like to learn more about the options you have with domination, here are some extra techniques and tricks you can try with your partners. 

• Sensory deprivation. Limiting one’s senses makes everything ten times hotter. If you want to take things one step further, go with blindfolds, earplugs, or other accessories to restrict and heighten the submissive’s senses and appear even more powerful and in control. 
• Mind games. Messing with someone’s brain is not something we’d generally recommend. However, if that happens in a controlled and consensual environment, we don’t see any harm!
• CNC. Consensual non-consent is another avenue you can explore. This is when you pre-agree on a number of scenarios where it would look like you’re doing something against the person’s will. In reality, though, it’s all consensual and safe. 
• Rituals. You can instill certain rituals that a submissive has to follow as a part of their daily routine. This can be, for example, them having to go down on their fours and bark for a minute before they’re allowed to brush their teeth. They can optionally Facetime the dominatrix while doing it.
• Public domination. You’ve probably seen this photo from the NY metro where a woman was sitting on top of a man folded in an odd, clearly uncomfortable position. That’s one way of doing it! Something more subtle can be asking for confirmation before they can eat or drink at a restaurant. 
• Edging. Orgasm control, aka edging, is the ultimate form of domination. Have your submissive almost get to the final scene, but then suddenly cut them off and have them yearn for it again. Start with edging just once, and then slowly build them up and train them to withstand double and triple edging. 

Ethical and Social Considerations of Domination 

Some say BDSM practices are unethical, but it’s not really true. Unlike manipulation and gaslighting which are far more damaging, domination is transparent and consensual in its core. The only domination that is frowned upon is the one where the boundaries are not respected and consent is neglected. 

As long as you build trust with your partner and avoid abusing them, domination is awesome. As far as abuse goes, it can happen if one of you gets carried away and doesn’t pay enough attention to the other person. Keep in mind that if someone isn’t happy to do something – they should never be pressured. Also, emotional well-being is equally important as physical well-being. 

Lastly, domination is often misunderstood and frowned upon. Society, at large, is not supportive of things that aren’t mainstream. That’s why if you engage in this kink, discretion is advised and privacy should be one of your top concerns. The last thing you want is to ruin your or someone else’s personal and professional life because you share too much.

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